ohhelpmegodjesusterriblefilmpain – DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION
I’m actually surprised at the awfulness on display here.
Having watched the original series’ (DRAGONBALL and DRAGONBALL Z) the announcement of the film filled me with a mixture of curiosity and dread.
How would they bring the crazy, energetic anime to life using actors? WHY would they bring the crazy, energetic anime to life using actors?
Left in the dark with these and other thoughts, I waited patiently for more to come out about it.
Then…
JAMES MARSTERS IS IN IT? GUH?! A good, likeable actor like himself involved in this production? Whoa. Chow Yung Fat didn’t hit me as hard as that did.
Strangely, this didn’t do much to settle my festering fears over the potential quality of the film, instead only deepening my puzzlement over what tone it would exude for it.
Next came the pics. If I remember, they were of some kind of fighting ring (I guess/ I’m guessing the Tournament) and had nice, bright colours fit for a POWER RANGERS tv movie. Ouch. Harsh, but they just seemed to scream ‘cheap’ at me loudly and constantly. Other films can get away with low production values, instead concentrating their energies on character development, story, good dialogue etc.
The source material has next to nothing of this.
Sorry, but in my mind from the very start the only proper transference to the big screen would be to play to the strengths of the anime:
THE MAD OVER THE TOP ACTION!
As such, big money would have to be obtained in order to set about realising the worldwide settings, the atomic explosion-scale destruction and intense, god-like battle that lay at the heart of the story’s appeal.
A counterpoint to that it DRAGONABLL, the very first series. In it, Goku & co are only starting out in their long, decades-spanning adventure. At this point, none display the cosmic-like power so easily thrown around in the following Z series. Perhaps that could be used as an excuse, that the film is based primarily on the characters early, low-powered days (which, arguably, were the more interesting and riveting segments – gets kind of dull when each consecutive villain can destroy the Universe). So then, character development, story, good dialogue etc WOULD have to be the major creative points for the film, replacing the sadly absent Michael Bay-scale effects.
Then the teaser, trailer, TV spots and the below monstrosities hit the net in quick succession.
Oh god.
OH GOD.
Horribleness in the extreme – a kamahamaha of shit.
“Ohh, it might still be good. Can’t always trust a trailer and –“
“No, Brain: gonna trust my bowel movement on this one and give it a big miss, I think.”
I include these spots because they provide the best glimpse I think into how this film is going to look.
PUTRID.
In conclusion: quite sad that this is how it ends, my association in all forms with DRAGONBALL. Not with a bang, but with a poor motion picture.
Rambo: For Kids
What do you know? The story of a Vietnam Veteran suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder… adapted into a cartoon!
Actually, it doesn’t sound too bad if I can trust what the Wikipedia entry has to say.
It says it has ninjas in it.
THE SOPRANOS – Remember That Show?
I’m sure most (that should really be ALL, mind you) of you watched the titular program and have fond memories of it.
Me? Embarrassed to say this but, up until last week, I never watched the show in any real capacity.
Over it’s 8(?) year run, I would catch a glimpse or about 5 minutes worth. See, like everything, I just naturally assume it to be bad, whether it be tv show, film, book etc.
Like an idiot, I always have to be forced to watch or wait nearly a decade before curiosity gets the better of me (which is why THE SHIELD will be acquired viewing in 2011)
Unlike me, my brother knows when something’s good. So, all of the above mentioned programs (yes, 2 were only mentioned but I ain’t got time to type them out!) are on DVD.
Speaking of which, they are only about 6 feet away from me….
Season 1 of THE SOPRANOS was recently watched in its entirety this pass week and the 2nd only having begun to be played inside my PS3.
In honour of my new addiction, I would like to embed a video (to which I am also addicted – a man cannot have enough guilty pleasures!)
Shooting Stars 2009: Jack Dee and the Tenor
Jack Dee cracking a smile was the stand-out moment in this special anniversary episode of ‘Shooting Stars’.
Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe: Writers Special
Just finished watching the latest episode of Screenwipe (it’s on BBC Four yet surprisingly watchable. Still can’t get over that.).
I had expected it to be the usual mix of Charlie Brooker’s observations and opinions (consistently hilarious and bang on), the usual format of the show.
But no, this time Mr Brooker gave over 40 minutes to interviewing some of the best television writers working today, Russell T Davies, Paul Abbott, Jesse Armstrong and so on(alas, where was Steven Moffat?).
Great stuff. What I found most fascinating was that all the writers were unanimous in saying that the actual writing process itself was torture, misery, etc. Hope, maybe, for all of us aspiring writers? Oh, just me then!
There was plenty of tips given on writing, summed up best in the quote ‘ All you have to do is stare at a blank page ’til your forehead bleeds’
Another worthy mention was ‘Just fucking write!’
Again, GREAT stuff.
I really urge everyone to find a way to watch it. You won’t be disappointed.
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